TPT#259 - Resistant To Reality

When George's ex (Child#2's other mom) accused Jess of abuse, everyone knew it was bunk, but nobody realized just how much trouble she would continue to make in the long run. But even when it's not being complicated by difficult adults, parenting is still hard, and as our two youngest become tweens, we are doing our best to continue to be good parents and good people.

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TPT#258 - New Job, Who Dis?

Jess has had some trouble with coworkers and employers percieving their direct demeanor as unsettling or off-putting. This is not an uncommon experience for AFAB persons who have a more masculine way of being in the world, but the ubiquity of the experience doesn't make it any more pleasant. They got a new job last year, but felt it to be a poor fit, so attempted to find a different position this year. Interviews abound, but offers were scarce, should they femme it up some? And how the heck should they do that? Also, it's a good thing George already had gotten his birth certificate corrected, because he needs it to manage some more of his mother's final arrangements.

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TPT#257 - You Can Google That

When you're going to encounter a new situation, it's often a good idea to do a little research. We went to LoveLoud, a one-day music festival in Utah that benefits charities supporting LGBTQ youth. The music was great, the host was awesome, and visiting friends in Salt Lake City was wonderful. Visiting the Mormon Temple complex in trans pride clothing was interesting. George isn't stealth at work, but he's not completely out either, so he often ends up in awkward situations answering questions that people could have researched for themselves. When our Child#1 tried to go overseas, it didn't work as well as he'd hoped, but that's an unfortunate side effect of not doing his research.

The links we referenced in today's episode are:
- Entire livestream video link expired, but video of ID performing is at youtube.com/watch?v=2d8c8-OGSzw
- The bathrooms: huffingtonpost.com/entry/loveloud-music-festival-transgender-bathrooms_us_5b60772ce4b0b15aba9d0411

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TPT#256 - They Only Misgender You When They Aren't Looking At You

The process of caring for a relative in hospice is never easy. The process of managing care duties and communicating with extended family and caring for our own kids left us drained, but George's mom is no longer in pain and the responsibilities are getting managed. Now if we could just get all the old people to quit "she"ing him and making themselves look like crazy old people, we'd be good.

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TPT#255 - I Put It There But It Doesn't Really Exist (Abuse Allegations, Pt. 2)

After the shock of being accused of Jess abusing Child#2 and George allowing him to be abused, we found our footing back in reality as the surrounding circumstances began to shed light on the missing parts of the story. Jess didn't hurt their kid, George wasn't neglectful, and Child#2 and his other mom are both bullies who see themselves as victims. The damage is done, and we're still picking up the pieces, but it looks like our family is on the mend, and George's goodness is slightly less infinite but still quite plentiful.

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TPT#254 - Silently Cursing My Infinite Goodness (Abuse Allegations, Pt. 1)

Child#2 was adopted by George before his transition, in a time when almost nowhere allowed same-sex second parent adoption. In his infinite goodness, he continued to provide his ex a form of joint physical custody, and numerous supports for her to be an effective parent. As a spoonie, she has been in and out of her child's life with no judgment or ill will from us, but the most recent time she came back, she brought all hell with her, and accused Jess of abusing Child#2. Will we be cleared of these allegations? Will we lose our jobs? Will we be able to maintain our marriage?

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TPT#253 - On Tuesday Let's Have Queers

Oh, wait, it's pride month? Jess' history with pride events is fairly limited, but George has been to many over the years. From "accidentally" attending a parade in Chicago as an egg-mode high-schooler, to bar hopping in Hawaii, to the first Dyke March in San Francisco, to Child#2 walking in the Trans March in his socks, he's been around the block a bit, but that doesn't stop us from planning for more.

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TPT#252 - There's No Normal Anymore

While trying to manage George's mom's health care (in between all the other nonsense we deal with on a regular basis) we realized that his straight white male privilege doesn't go as far in female-led settings as it does in more heterogeneously gendered settings. Between her previously mentioned broken shoulder, three hospital visits, uncontrolled diabetes, an antibiotic-resistant UTI, c.diff, and three nursing homes, George's mom has had a go of it, and George has been chasing after all her needs as best he can. Which isn't easy, when everyone he interacts with is (understandably) tired of some guy telling them how to do their job!

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TPT#251 - Out-Do Your Facial Hair

Dysphoria sucks. As a genderqueer person, some of our culture's homophobic and transphobic framing of fluidity has seeped into Jess' psyche, as evidenced by their reaction to a recent discussion about their dysphoria. Jess' dysphoria as a nonbinary person is different from George's dysphoria as a binary trans man, but they share some similarities.

George uses STP's made from half-gallon plastic jugs, like those seen in the links below:
- youtube.com/watch?v=TLiaVVihEn4
- youtube.com/watch?v=kmHFvqLuMxU

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TPT#250 - 'Cause I'm Spoiled

George's mom broke her shoulder, Child#2's other mom also had a medical emergency, and both of these things happened on the same day that George had two appointments and Child#2 had one. George's anxiety has anxiety, his mom still can't use the right pronouns and doesn't even recognize him half the time when she percieves him as male, but he still feels spoiled because Jess does his shot. Brightsiding. It helps.

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