TPT#293 - Motherf*cker

Everyone has expectations of what their journey through adolescence will be like, and what the adult outcomes will be. For those of us who experience more than one puberty, we have more awareness of our prior expectations as we began our second adolescence. George explains what he thought would happen, and we discuss how that compares with what actually happened.

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TPT#292 - Most Best

No, not "Be Best". That's hypocritical nonsense. George's gender is not hypocritical, and it's the most bestest thing in his whole world. Even with a trip to Chicago TARDIS, and seeing old friends, and getting deadnamed, and dealing with some of the more negative aspects of masculinity, transition is still his most best thing.

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TPT#291 - These Are All Experiments

Jess is feeling some kind of way after TDOR, and not quite ready for Thanksgiving, so George reminds them of all the things we have to be thankful for.

We referenced:
- Gerry Brooks' "Teacher Spouse" bits, see one at facebook.com/watch/?v=837088456500750
- How we decided to put bizarre lawn ornaments in our yard, at transpantastic.net/2016/12/broken-string-all-gone.html

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TPT#290 - Funny Looking Lady

We have had some really strangely gendered interactions lately, and the only explanation we can come up with is that the cis are not okay. From George's clients to Jess' colleagues, cisgender folks focus on their own genders in ways we find baffling, and police our gender in ways that are just annoying.

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TPT#289 - Hand-Me-Down Toilet Snake

Is George having an easier time getting broken things fixed as a guy, than he would have before? And why do we have so freaking many broken things? George got a new prescription for the higher-concentration testosterone he used to get, and one week of lower-concentration testosterone clearly made him irritable again, so between all the broken things, and naughty kids, he's having a heck of a time.

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TPT#288 - Don't Be That Dude

It still catches George off guard, on occasion, when he is treated like "just some dude". He wasn't raised with male socialization, so he still catches himself confused about expectations, even six years into transition. But observing other men, who were raised as male, and the disregard they seem to have had for others, makes both of us glad he knows what it's like to lack that privilege.

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TPT#287 - Placebo Effect

Some weeks back, George's HRT prescription was changed from 200mg/ml to 100mg/ml, basically doubling the dose to achieve the same amount of a more diluted testosterone shot. It wasn't ideal, but it was the option available to him at the time. But in the intervening weeks, he has been more irritable, and irritability can be a side effect of HRT. Is the testosterone making him cranky, or is it just the unrelenting nonsense?

The podcast we referenced is a Hidden Brain episode called "All The World's A Stage - Including The Doctor's Office", and it can be found at https://www.npr.org/2019/04/29/718227789/all-the-worlds-a-stage-including-the-doctor-s-office.

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TPT#286 - Mild Psychological Warfare

The last time George took Child#2 to scout camp, he was very newly transitioned, and understandably concerned about how his trans status would affect the experience. George is planning to take Child#2 to scout camp again soon. Are the boy scouts more manageable than the cub scouts? Will his trans status be a problem this time?

- Episode #125 - "Hey Mom! It Works!! (Scout Camp, Part 1)"
- Episode #126 - "Eight Slices of Pizza (Scout Camp, Part 2)"

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TPT#285 - Axlotls

Everyone has a personal reality, and it's much easier to function in the world if your own reality is at least similar to the reality of those around you. In Episode 78, George discussed how good it was to have someone validating that his reality was congruent with actual reality. Today we revisited that topic, discussing the realities of transition, coparenting with a toxic person, our kids' educational needs, and accessing healthcare as a nonbinary, fat, pseudo-femme person.

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TPT#284 - The Committee to Form Committees

When George got his drivers license changed back in 2013, he needed a doctor's note and had two options. Many states are new increasing their number of options for documentation of gender, and Jess is finally getting their license changed too, with significantly fewer barriers to access. Now that they have an accurate identity document, how many other records will they be able to change, and will that initiative to make their own changes affect the larger system of recordkeeping statewide?

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TPT#283 - Acid and Cocaine

When George took Child#2 to the therapist this week, he made sure to address his supposed fears regarding gender as discussed last episode. Aside from some confusion that his other mom had likely caused by over-explaining in words and concepts that are above his cognitive level, he wasn't actually scared about gender. He was, however, using that as an attention-getting tactic with his other mom to cover for his fears regarding her physical and mental health.

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TPT#282 - Scared Of Gender

We knew that George's ex was going to start trouble again. Just like she will again after that, and again after that, in an unending cycle of attention-seeking false accusations until the child we coparent is grown, and probably even a few attempts thereafter. But what we didn't expect, was the issue she'd pick to make trouble over this time. Transgender parents often have to worry about custody concerns because of their transition, and we thought we'd dodged that bullet. We were wrong.

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TPT#281 - Wearing A TicTac

We went to San Francisco for Pride, but skipped Pride. Instead, we attended Trans March and Dyke March, and enjoyed ourselves on Cousin Vinnie's boat. Trans March was wonderful, Dyke March was super, and the houseboat was quite pleasant, but we also had Child#2 to manage, and that always makes things a little more challenging.

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TPT#280 - The Paragraph That Is Actually A List

What do we like about each other? Why are we still happy together after almost a decade? What is it about Jess that makes George's time and effort worthwhile? What is it about George that keeps Jess coming back home every night?

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TPT#279 - Murray'd With Mehlk

Communication is integral to a functioning relationship and a lasting marriage. After almost a decade together, you'd think we'd have figured out how to effectively discuss relational things like food, chores, or sex. And after six years of transition, you'd think we'd be able to successfully deal with things like HRT and sex. On both of these counts, you'd be wrong.

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TPT#278 - Tiny Bottles

There have been intermittent shortages of various types of HRT in the past year or so, and when George had to refill his most recent prescription he had a heck of a time trying to get what he needed.

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TPT#277 - Go Fly A Kite

There's this thing that happens every year as summer approaches. Kids get antsy, and we have to work harder to help them stay out of trouble. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But even more important than that: is pneumonia gendered?

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TPT#276 - I'm That Guy

Socializing at work is a common way to build a sense of teamwork, and taking time to do it can cognitively hit the reset button on one's levels of effort and engagement with assigned tasks. The way that George is expected to socialize at work is different when he's perceived as male, from how it was prior to transition. Engaging with "the guys" is still a new experience, but he's getting the hang of it in his introverted way. Jess, on the other hand, being an autistic genderqueer extrovert, wants ALL the social times, even on business trips, and doesn't always realize what's gendered and what isn't.

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TPT#275 - Ridiculously Gendered Locker Room

George hasn't had a chance to get to the gym as much as he'd like, for the past few years. With all the stress he's been under, it's no wonder. But as things have become less stressful, he's still struggled to find the motivation to get back, and he began to examine his motives for going or not going, and discovered, among parenting and other things, gender dysphoria.

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TPT#274 - Mad Testosterone Skillz

(...with a "Z".) We are responsible for children, and occasionally for people who are chronologically adults but act like children. George dislikes fifth grade homework, and history class is giving Child#2 fits too. With history presentations coming up, our kids and their classmates give us hope for the gendered future. Child#2's other mom is unhealthy to interact with, but is manageable when George turns on his "testosterone-listening"... Many "uh-huh"s and "mm-hmm"s were heard.

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TPT#273 - I Know That I Don't Know What I'm Doing

George finally had that interview he's been preparing for, and noticed once again that he was treated with a type of respect he never got when he was presenting as a butch lesbian. When we had other guy friends over, who had also previously identified as butch lesbians, they related similar experiences. When Jess joined them, George explained that his wife really isn't a girl, and they were cool. Things are going well for now, and life seems to be looking up!

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TPT#272 - Are There Rabbit Trails On Gallifrey?

Are there rabbits on Gallifrey? Do they make trails? What color are they, under the orange sky, eating the red grass by trees with silver foliage? And does any of this relate to our experience at this year's Gallifrey One convention? Not really, and neither do ST:TNG, being gendered at work, giving ungendered gifts, facial hair styling, being assumed gay until proven otherwise, how cis folk all look the same to Jess, old-school ways of planning one's social life before cell phones, physical expressions of exhaustion, outsider views on the American education system, passing privilege, being ignored by folks who ignore men, in-crowd clocking, rodent infestations in old homes, missing spring training, and ST:Disco Tilly/Burnham shipping. But they are all offshoots from our experience at this year's Gallifrey One convention, so they fit anyway, right?

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TPT#271 - Happy Wife, Happy ...

If you can't finish that adage, let your favorite search engine's autofill help. It's a terribly heteronormative statement, but we still live in a terribly heteronormative culture. George's mustache is funny, but reinforces his masculine privilege. So does being a sportsball fan, which is interpreted completely differently now that folks perceive him as male. Life is good, but weird.

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TPT#270 - A Solid Six

When a government agency insists that all of its employees attend "LGBTQ Sensitivity Training", the results could be great or not-so-great. When George is one of said employees, you know we're going to talk about it. We'll also talk about the amazing upcoming Gallifrey One convention, preparing child care plans for parental escape, and pronoun ribbons!

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TPT#269 - Sometimes It's Just Jello

Continuing our month of stories, we recount how our early shared experiences shaped how we interact with one another. What did menopausal George lose his mind over? Why did Jess freak out at a Hanukkah party? We'll find that it's true, sometimes a jello is just a jello.

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TPT#268 - Ridiculous and Far Too Long

Some while ago we discussed how we met over on Gender Rebels. Today we fleshed that story out a little more. Professional lesbians, f*ckbuddies at a cookout, crazy non-girlfriends, and a terrible movie ensue.

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