TPT#94 - Lesbian Elvis

Between birthdays and holidays, this year's schedule is full of opportunities for social awkwardness, gender-y and otherwise, and it has been all sorts of fun. Reviewing these events gives us an opportunity to discuss how George's introversion affects his social anxiety and how it has changed over the years, resulting from both experience and from transition.

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#93 - Man Cave

Like Jack Sprat and wife, we often end up on opposite sides of a meal, task, or situation. George eats the fatty parts of the bacon, Jess eats the lean. George builds things, Jess sews things. George cleans, Jess cooks. While this is just a function of our respective experience and aptitudes, it often ends up seeming terribly heteronormative.

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#92 - Doppelganger

George seems to have a twin. Or maybe he has recently become some other guy's twin. Either way, his colleagues at work have mistaken him for one of his colleagues more than once. This mistaken identity has made George examine and become more aware of his own masculinity as he "sizes up" other guys and reevaluates his self-perception.

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#91 - Man Scouts

It's been said that "the only good dog stories are naughty dog stories". Unless there's a problem to solve, there's no story. The story isn't generally amusing while you're actually solving the problem, but the worst problems make for the best stories afterward.

You can hear and download the entire (accidentally-simmish) theme song at transpantastic.podbean.com/mf/web/ugf7y2/TPT-ThemeMusic.mp3.

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#90 - Handing Over Mom Duty

George's mom has gone to visit his sister for the holidays, and we are thankful for the lessened obligation. Even so, the responsibility is never far away, no matter how long the plane ride took.

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#89 - Filter Fail

Transitioning later in life has both advantages and drawbacks. After one and a half years of medical transition, and almost two years since deciding to do so, George and Jess reflect on life as it is and how it has changed. Waiting until middle-age has made the process easier by far than it would've been at a younger age, but George still would've done it long ago if he'd known how beneficial it would've been. From muscles and facial hair to social and cultural shifts, things are different, and it's a good thing.

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#88 - I Want My MTV

A few weeks back, you may have seen a link to a casting call on our social media. We thought about this project that MTV is considering, and decided we are not the ideal candidate family. Although many trans-parented families might have some similarities, the extents to which our unique differences present themselves are a little extreme even for us at times, and certainly doesn't need to be on camera. Besides, then who would do this podcast?!

Casting Call for Transgender Parents: http://remotecontrol.mtv.com/casting-call-for-parents/

Casting Call for Children of Transgender Parents: http://remotecontrol.mtv.com/casting-calls/casting-call-for-kids/

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#87 - Running Away From Home

Between parenting our kids and parenting George's mom, we finally exhausted our reserves of responsibility, so we ran away from home. It's a very good thing to be able to get away, even if George is still recovering from minor surgery and even if the responsibilities do try to follow us!

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#86 - Surgery Revisions

At George's one-year checkup after his top surgery, the surgeon and he decided that there were a few spots that were less than ideal, so they scheduled revisions. George was ready for fixing the way his chest looked, but he wasn't ready for all the other things involved with that process!

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#85 - Failing at Irresponsibility

Lately all of our responsibilities have had us feeling a little overwhelmed, so we decided to let loose a little bit in hopes of relieving a little of that stress.

TPT#84 - Optimum Normalcy

Jess has mentioned before that she has become frustrated with managing small people at work. It's her job as a teacher to do so, but it has become increasingly clear that her talents and temperament are best suited to a secondary or post-secondary position. As she searches for a better job, the issue of how to discuss her family life and how to be a good queer role model for her students have been a topic of discussion for the two of us, and we have discussed the question of how "out" to be on George's behalf now, before she makes any statements regarding his trans status to her new staff or students.

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#83 - Lots of BS

Child#2 has been participating in boy scouts for a few months now, and while Jess still has reservations about their history with the LGBT community, George has been all about getting him involved with positive opportunities for male socialization.

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#82 - When I'm Not Paying Fifty Dollars

Doctor visits can be stressful. George's semi-annual endocrinologist visit is coming up, and that means blood work, and between that and all the other visits he's been taking his mom or his rear-end to, he's developed a case of "White Coat Syndrome".

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#81 - Making Eyebrow Contact

A new school year for our kids means new meetings and conferences with teachers for us, and with their special needs it's always an experience. As our children adjust to the schedules and routines, we adjust to the behaviour struggles that often accompany such transitions.

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#80 - Wanh WaWa Wanh

The adult voices in the old Peanuts cartoons were all played by a muted trombone. We often feel like when we're talking to our kids, they seem to hear that same "Wanh-wah, wa-wa-WANH-wa" sound, hearing that we are speaking but not really listening or being fully aware of what's being said. Of course, that sometimes happens with adults too, whether it's between ourselves or with the nice officials at the Social Security office.

The current policy for change of gender on Social Security records is at https://secure.ssa.gov/poms.nsf/lnx/0110212200, and you can find specific information about exactly how those policies affect transgender individuals and how to effectively use the procedures listed there at http://www.transequality.org/Resources/SSAResource_June2013.pdf.

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#79 - The Gender Front

While George finishes up the issues regarding his rear end, and the various interactions with doctors that we began discussing a few weeks ago, he can't help but find himself disappointed in the way his body responds to surgery and invasive medical procedures. This can occasionally become a dysphoria trigger, as he deals with just how unattainable and impractical any lower surgery would be.

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#78 - Validate My Reality

When situations and circumstances become too much to deal with, or when we find that we are not dealing well with our situation, one way to get help coping is in therapy. Many trans folk seek therapy as part of the "Standards Of Care", an old model for medical transition, but it's good for much more than that.

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#77 - Little White Bowls

Sometimes things get misplaced. While we endeavour to find lost items promptly, it often happens that the hunt for missing objects is preempted by our busy lives. Back-to-school has made our lives busier than usual, so the to-do list has gotten completely shuffled and lost-and-found hasn't been a priority.

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#76 - More Q's and A's

More questions have been asked, so more answers are being recorded for your enjoyment, enlightenment, or timepassment. From the term "PrincessMan" to our favorite fandoms, from pod-stats to voice lessons, from Maryland to Kazakhstan, we've covered the topics you've asked about in today's episode.

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#75 - A Bad Case of Butthurt

Every once in a while, we have a problem that won't go away until we talk about it in a podcast episode. We've come to call this phenomenon "microphone magic". This time the problem is health-related, prompting a few visits to new doctors and the anxiety that can induce in trans folk.

As discussed at about 11:50, we recorded the process of finding our doctor in episode #21 "Doctor, Doctor" (which can be found at http://transpantastic.net/2013/08/doctor-doctor.html if your podcatcher doesn't pull all the old episodes).

At 26:20 we incorrectly state that nitroglycerin is a vasoconstrictor. It is actually a vasodilator. Hence the lowered blood pressure.

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#74 - ThunderCats and Sparkly Streamers

From the moment a newborn emerges and the doctor takes note of their genitals, any child born into most western cultures is assigned a set of expections and cultural norms we refer to as "gender". It takes only a little experience to realize that the majority of these expectations are nonsense.

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#73 - Doing It As A Man

George's transition has made him clearly male in appearance, and this affects everything from his health to his social interactions. Jess is generally happy to support him in each situation, even when her own queerness gets lost in the shuffle. When hiking or exercising, when dealing with his mom, or when dealing with strangers in public, there are new experiences for both of us to explore.

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#72 - Small Mammals

There are four mammalian creatures in our house under four feet (~120cm) tall, two short hominids and two large canines. We have committed to be responsible for these living beings (and a tall homonid too), and this fact has given us both enjoyment and stress, both frustration and joy.

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

Recent Changes

In response to a listener suggestion, we have revised audio post titles here on the website to include podcast episode numbers, which were previously only attached to file downloads from our hosting site. Thanks, Bradleigh, for letting us know how we can better serve the community.

We have also been aware, for a while now, that there are a number of older episodes that needed remixing from when we were using different equipment and audio quality was not as good. Starting today, we will be working backward from episode #40 to edit and re-upload the files to our hosting server. The filenames and URLs should still be the same, so all links and podcatcher functions should still work, but if you find anything broken, please email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com.

TPT#71 - You're Less Selfish

Transition is, by necessity and by definition, a self-centered act. To recreate one's physical self in the most psychologically congruous image possible, is intensely intrapersonal. But when life keeps happening all around us, between raising kids, caring for parents, tending pets, supporting family, paying bills, and keeping house, it's easy to get lost in all the external details and forget that transition is even happening!

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#70 - She's Gone Cukoo!

George's mom is old. As both her body and her brain have aged, she still seems, at least in our experience, to be fairly sharp. Why, then, do some of her doctors seem to think she has dementia? The answer might have to do with George's transition.

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#69 - Sexytimes Ahoy?

Because, episode sixty-nine, what else could we do?

Between dysphoria and having genitalia that didn't quite work right, learning how to sex was quite a process for George. So when his body started changing in response to testosterone, we started exploring the new things it could do and different ways that sex could happen.

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#68 - Working While Trans

There are few benefits to working for the government. The pay is crummy and job security is tied to the budget which is sadly tied to politics. But one thing we have going for us is that we're protected by law. If they want to fire us for being transgender, they have to find another reason to put on the paperwork! Thankfully, neither George nor Jess work in a hostile environment, but the situations we find ourselves in are often interesting, amusing, or just facepalm-inducing.

You can hear more about George's work coming-out in episodes 28-30, and the email that we referenced near the beginning of our discussion is at http://transpantastic.net/2013/09/the-work-letter.html.

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#67 - MANeuvering

George has the sniffles and the microphone seems to have become an antenna for some sort of radio signal. Jess managed to minimize the frequency containing the interference, but it's still there as background noise. Even so, we manage a follow-up discussion of dysphoria as it relates to last week's discussion of packing, peeing, genitalia, and options for lower surgery. The links from our prior discussion of STPs, including the "homemade" item we keep referencing, is at transpantastic.net/2013/10/stping-links.html.

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#66 - Packing, Peeing, and P*nises

Figuring out the bathroom thing after transition is simultaneously harder and easier than many guys expect, and George is no exception. The environment in the mens room is very different from that in the womens room, and figuring out what to do with your "junk" is hard enough without having to figure out what to do with yourself. The links from our prior discussion of STPs, including the "homemade" item we keep referencing, is at transpantastic.net/2013/10/stping-links.html.

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#65 - Sense of Entitlement

When our kids grow up, they will have to earn their own way to pay for their own things. Our job as parents is to prepare them for this reality. If we raise them with a sense of entitlement, or a belief that they have a "right to" have what they want, regardless of whether or not it has been earned or properly used, we will have failed.

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#64 - Hello, Laydees...

Life keeps going on. Transition keeps happening, even when George gets misgendered. Medicines keep getting refilled, even when we get the dead man's pills on accident. Kids keep growing taller and older, even when they don't seem to be growing smarter or more sensible. It just doesn't stop, even when we might want it to, just for a moment, so we can catch our breath.

The work letter that George sent via email to most of his colleagues last year, and re-sent as we discussed at about 05:30 is online at http://transpantastic.net/2013/09/the-work-letter.html.

TPT#63 - Happy Man-iversary!

One year on testosterone has changed a lot of things. George's voice has dropped noticeably, he stands a half-inch taller, and his whole body is shaped differently. But the best changes of all are not anatomical, they're psychological and social. To feel "right" in his own skin, and in the way others interact with him, this has been the best change of all.

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#62 - Twenty-ish Questions: Part 2 (Mildly NSFW)

Continuing last week's survey, we finish the "when" and "what" questions, and move into the "first time" and "either/or" questions. Some answers have changed in the past year, due to the effects of testosterone, and others are just fun.

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#61 - Twenty-ish Questions: Part 1 (G-Rated)

A few weeks back, we posted a survey link to get some quick and anonymous demographics from you, our friends who listen to our weekly storytime. We expected 20%-50% response, but the initial response was less than 5% of our weekly download count. So we decided to take some surveys ourselves, the kind that float around tumblr and ask about the random details of your life. Here's the first half. Next week is the second (somewhat "adult") half, and the week after that will be George's "maniversary" episode.

We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken the survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381.

TPT#60 - Social Security

The system of government pension in the United States is called Social Security. The number assigned to each American citizen and legal resident is called a Social Security Number, and it is used for all manner of federal identification. And like many government records, it's a pain in the rear to change. Jess & George are both public employees, familiar with the simultaneously inane and labyrinthine procedures necessary to accomplish anything within government agencies, but bringing gender transition and his family's unique brand of interpersonal communication to the equation makes for a real adventure.

In case you missed it, please go to http://poll.pollcode.com/15998381 and let us know some quick and anonymous demographics to help guide our future episode topics!

TPT#59 - Lowering Expectations

Recently George was having difficulty accomplishing all he felt he ought to at work. He found this frustrating, but his work-wife reminded him that he generally holds very high expectations for himself, and that the problem might be solved by adjusting these expectations. We've since applied this problem-solving method to many aspects of our lives, and what do you know, it works!

In case you missed it last week, please go to http://poll.pollcode.com/15998381 and drop us some quick and anonymous demographics to help guide our future episode topics!

TPT#58 - Saucer Sled on the Ski Jump

We often find ourselves in the middle of conversations and realize "this would make a good podcast topic." This time we turned on a microphone and started over with rape culture, working our way through family anecdotes and the metaphysical nature of trans-ness, to religion and our individual views on gender as they relate to faith.

Please go to http://poll.pollcode.com/15998381 and let us know some quick and anonymous demographics, as we discussed at about the 24-minute mark.

TPT#57 - A Bad Case Of Teenager

Yeah, George is a middle-aged adolescent, but this week we're not talking about him. #1Child is is a cis-aged teenager, and #2 and #3 add up to almost equal him. We keep hoping that the parenting thing will settle down, but with our special-needs kids it's not likely.

TPT#56 - Men's Spaces

From the changing room at the sporting goods store, to the hot tub at the gym, to the really gross bathrooms all over town, some spaces are decidedly gendered. We discuss George's experiences with these spaces over the course of finally getting himself a few needed replacements for clothing he has outgrown because of body changes on T.

TPT#55 - No More Dying On Fridays!

Why does it always have to be friday? Jess & George discuss how the changes in George's hormones have changed the way he deals with stress and emotional overload. Also, Jess might be a psychopath and George has been on HRT for about ten months.

TPT#54 - "You're Such A..."

Genderedness happens. Lately, Jess has caught herself saying "You're such a man!" to George often enough to have become a joke. But upon wider examination, George is "Such a man!", #3Child is "Such a girl!", #2Child is "Such a boy!", #1Child is "Such a teenager!", and Jess is "Such a geek!".

TPT#53 - Massages & Packing

And that "life around transition" stuff seems to have quieted down enough for us to actually talk about transition again. George used to love massages, but getting one during transition can be a questionable situation. Also, we discuss that packer that came in the mail a few weeks back.

If your iTunes or other podcatcher is not downloading this episode, check your "parental controls", as it is marked "explicit" for discussion of how that packer works for play.

TPT#52 - Princess Jesus Music From Hell

George's mom is settled into her new place, and things are finally starting to settle back down. Which means back to parenting shenanigans and religious nonsense.

TPT#51 - I'm Glad I'm Her Son.

Getting mom settled in has been an adventure, but if George had been required to undertake this quest prior to transition it would've been a completely different situation. Between visits to doctors, welfare, social security, and the new apartment that we finally moved her into, there's no time to manage gender dysphoria. Or to get the new packer in the mail!

TPT#50 - What You Don't Know You Don't Know

Over the course of George's transition, over the course of parenting three kids and one elderly mom, over the course of living life, we often recognize in hindsight that we didn't know things. Not only that, but we didn't even realize that we didn't know them. Recently, we've questioned a few of our own preconceptions about parenting, about gender, and about our ability to take a pleasant hike.

In response to a few inquiries about our appearances, we posted a few images at TransPanTastic.tumblr.com, where we often post bits and pieces of our lives throughout the week.

TPT#49 - Tall Trees

In what we hope to be the final installment of the "dad's dead so let's move mom across the country" story, we finally get to make that drive across the country. With George's mom. Leading Jess to be very thankful that George had been to therapy long before they ever met.

TPT#48 - Division of Labor

We almost split this week's episode into two parts. We considered it for two reasons. George and Jess were in two different places, doing two separate things. Their stories of their time apart are in two contrasting narratives, with two comparable stories of caring for their respective charges. Additionally, the time is almost as long as two of our usual episodes... But in the end, we two can't be separated for long, and so we kept the story of our separate weeks as one (long) episode.

TPT#47 - Faith and Stuff

As often happens after death of a loved one, we got into the topic of spirituality. After exploring our individual histories with faith and religion, we discussed what we believe, why we believe it, and why it's okay that we don't believe the same thing.

TPT#46 - Death and Stuff

The passing of George's step-dad has offered plenty of opportunity for that unique brand of coping humor we have generally reserved for the demands of dealing with special needs children.

TPT#45 - People are funny.

Women are funny. Men are funny. Everyone else is funny too. From the cycling instructor, to the guys in the locker room, to the uber-binary folks of both trans* and cis experience, to the random women who seem to be angry at George just for being a man, to the colleague who commented on George's voice change. People are just funny.

TPT#44 - Doggies & Childrens & Pokemons, Oh My!

Children are naughty, and as parents we have to set limits and boundaries that will help them grow into adults who learn how not to be naughty. Or at least how not to get caught being naughty... Sometimes that even means enforcing punishments while helping them through trauma, grief, or other negative experiences.

TPT#43 - Happy Holidays!

The holidays are done, but our interruptions are just beginning. Between dogs, kids, and phones, we discuss our holidays, update surgery recovery, and discuss changing brands of testosterone.