TPT#146 - Jerry Garcia

Our Christmas preparations are underway, with all the people we care for in tow. From George's mom's house to Child#2 & Child#3's school, our world is a winter wonderland of holiday cheer. And by cheer we mean insanity.

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TPT#145 - Pry That Thing Open

George finally got around to calling the gynecologist, and the experience was much more pleasant than some of the horror stories we've heard. Even with an open-minded physician and a very professional office staff, he's still the guy at the gyno, which still feels a tad awkward...

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TPT#144 - Kind Of A Disco Ball

The holidays have begun. They kind of began back in October with Halloween and Child#1's birthday, and the entire end-of-the-year always becomes a hectic shuffle from one event to another. Throw another happy event in on top of it (you'll have to listen to find out what) and we just don't get any rest. But our house is bright and rainbow-tastic, our family is warm and well-fed, and we have each other, so life is good.

We're still looking for submissions for our happy-holidays episode. Record yourself saying anything from a sentence or two, up to ten minutes of story, with a happy, amusing, or poignant ending that will encourage the rest of us who need to hear something happy this time of year. Send your audio file (or a link to it on a cloud drive, if it's too big to attach) to TPTsubmit@gmail.com by 17 Dec, and we'll compile them into the 19 Dec episode #145.

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TPT#143 - Straight People Are Weird.

There are actually people, functional human beings, who have never, ever, not even once, considered that their body might not fit them, that their brain might not match their body, that their gender might be something different than assigned. They just go about their lives with complete integration of their sociocultural place, their body, and their sense of self. That's kinda crazy.

We're still looking for submissions for our happy-holidays episode. Record yourself saying anything from a sentence or two, up to ten minutes of story, with a happy, amusing, or poignant ending that will encourage the rest of us who need to hear something happy this time of year. Send your audio file (or a link to it on a cloud drive, if it's too big to attach) to TPTsubmit@gmail.com by 17 Dec, and we'll compile them into the 19 Dec episode #145.

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TPT#142 - You Can Help!

Holidays can be hard. But you can help someone who's struggling with depression, frustration, alienation, or all those other unhappy things that happen too often this time of year. Tell us your happy stories of "life around transition", and we'll compile them into an uplifting episode. While we won't forbid transition or coming-out stories, remember that for many who are still struggling to achieve their gendery goals, they may find frustration in hearing someone else gushing over achieving what they can't, so our suggestion is "life around transition", like many of our own stories are.

Record yourself saying anything from a sentence or two, up to ten minutes of story, with a happy, amusing, or poignant ending that will encourage the rest of us who need to hear something happy this time of year. Send your audio file (or a link to it on a cloud drive, if it's too big to attach) to TPTsubmit@gmail.com by 17 Dec, and we'll compile them into the 19 Dec episode, #145.

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TPT#141 - Overselling It Just A Bit

Sometimes our kids frustrate us, other times they make us proud. This week we finally catch up with them, but parenting while sick is no fun. George still doesn't feel much better from last week's episode, and so needed to go back to the doctor.

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TPT#140 - Oh, That's Interesting...

When one of your best friends gets married, but plans it last-minute, and life doesn't let you go, you do the second-best thing: take a vacation to Minnesota in the cold! It's a good thing we got a break, because when we got back, George got sick and our kids' other parents couldn't take their visitation. Transgender fun at the airport *and* the hospital? Just another week in the life!

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TPT#139 - Queersplaining

Mansplaining, manspreading, manterrupting, all those tongue-in-cheek terms for stereotypically masculine habits take on a new meaning when one has transitioned to male. Having been the victim of them for decades, we both take a queer look at the way man-ness affects the way others perceive our presence and presentation.

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TPT#138 - Girls Chase Boys

Why does it always have to be Friday? This time around, work stress got George to a place where he wasn't able to keep dysphoria from getting to him. The oddities didn't stop, though, the bizarreness of Friday didn't end with Friday.

The amazing music video we referenced is Ingrid Michaelson's "Girls Chase Boys", at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GBT37_yyzY.

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TPT#137 - My Hand Might Forget What I Was Doing

George got his blood tests back and the results are potentially concerning. While we manage that, he also had another revision to his top surgery.

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TPT#136 - Five Stuffed Bears In Lederhosen

As we continue to settle into our new house, we needed to call our handyman for some help. Our handyman who hasn't seen George since before he started transition. But he's an old hippie, fairly open-minded, a pretty cool guy... how awkward could it get?

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TPT#135 - Hormones From Hell

After over two years on testosterone, George's second puberty is well underway, but have his hormones started causing him trouble? While we wait for his blood work to come back, we discuss how Jess' hormones have also caused her trouble, and especially recently. We round out our conversation of hormone stuffs with the thought of both of us preparing for our respective visits to the gynecologist.

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TPT#134 - Sitting On Fans

Chair (n): A piece of furniture designed for supporting the human body
Fan (n): An appliance that pushes air around.
Transgender (adj): A person whose assigned/biological sex and psychological gender are not in congruence.

You can sit on one of these things. Sometimes two, but we're not that kind of podcast.

George thinks in pictures and concepts, Jess thinks in words and sounds. Sometimes this creates a struggle to communicate, but generally we work it out. Words are important to the transgender community, and with good reason. Words can create or destroy, can harm or heal. But Ivan Coyote said, "really, these are all just words, and words are always imperfect, and words are just sounds we make with our mouths that point our minds to think of things that cannot be fully described in words anyway." Words are important, but this time Jess has gone just a little word-ranty.

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TPT#133 - A Closet Full Of Tutus

Kids are back to school, and they're making life-around-transition interesting. But that's kind of the usual around here. Jess is back to school also, so as we manage these changes along with finishing the move (see last week's episode), life-around-transition has experienced some gender-y things, and some parent-y things, and even some gendery-parenty things.

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TPT#132 - Yes, Sir. Thank You, Sir.

We moved. George was able to accomplish more things, more easily, as a man, than he ever could pre-transition. Jess is mildly jealous. But he did lots of the moving-stuffs while she was working or doing homeworks so we're even.

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TPT#131 - 4 Q's & 4 A's

For our fourth round of QnA, we have four questions ranging from parenting an autistic teenager to genderqueer dysphoria, and from coming out to our heroes or idols. Actually, not really "from" or "to" those things, nothing between them, kinda just those four things. Send your questions or feedback below!

TransPanTastic.tumblr.com
facebook.com/TransPanTastic
twitter.com/TransPanTastic
http://plus.google.com/105889546185411151497/

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TPT#130 - Lock My Nipples

We've long known that Child#2 is our "most special" of our special needs children, but we do our best to help him achieve and enjoy life as much as possible. That often involves some extra resources and effort, in this case to give him a vacation to visit his cousins. As usual, hijinks ensue.

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TPT#129 - It's Not Always That High Tech (The Lawyer Friend's Lower Surgery, Pt. 2)

Our lawyer friend had a metoidioplasty some months back. So of course, we pestered him to come talk to us about it, so all of you, our friends, could listen. Tangent topics include overeating, sex, and peeing on oneself.

Contains mildly graphic discussion of complications and their treatment, specifically a fistula and a stricture.

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TPT#128 - We're All 'Those People' Here. (The Lawyer Friend's Lower Surgery, Pt. 1)

Our lawyer friend had a metoidioplasty some months back. So of course, we pestered him to come talk to us about it, so all of you, our friends, could listen. Tangent topics include the absurdity of female clothing, the difficulty of finding male clothing for guys like us, his coming-out story, government employment, and STPs.

The episode we reference, in which George discusses his experiences with his gynecologist, is Episode #2, "Gyno Says What", which is at TransPanTastic.net/2013/03/gyno-says-what_16.html.

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TPT#127 - Something I'm Usually Aware Of

After two years of medical transition, George is regularly perceived as the man he is. This has caused Jess to be perceived more as a woman in his presence. Others' perceptions of us have recently highlighted just how gendered our culture is, and how the expectations of our perceived genders affect our comfort or discomfort with social interactions.

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TPT#126 - Eight Slices Of Pizza

Finishing the story of a weekend of Cub Scouts sleep-away camp. Sorry, still no hummingbird story.

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TPT#125 - Hey Mom! It Works!!

Part one of our recap of George's and Child#2's time at Cub Scout camp. Will TransDad George survive interacting with the traditionally homophobic/transphobic boy scouts? Will Child#2 learn how to wipe his own rear end? Will George be able to manage the Dick Patrol while sharing a tent? Will we get back to the hummingbird story? Tune in next week to find out!!

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TPT#124 - Both or Neither

For genderqueer individuals like Jess, the "typical trans narrative" often doesn't fit, and neither do the "standard" understandings of terminology and experience regarding their transgender experience. Transition can be more complicated when one is going in neither of the expected binary directions, and a medical understanding of life outside the binary is generally pathologized. As a non-binary person, Jess has chosen not to transition, but does that mean she's "less trans"?

At 30:50 we reference Episode #34: "That Gender Stuff", which can be found at transpantastic.net/2013/11/that-gender-stuff.html.

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TPT#123 - Not Completely Unhelpful

We've done what we can to help Child#2 adapt to his differences of development and manage his challenging behaviours for some while now. Since last year, that has included George taking him to Cub Scouts to (hopefully) engage some positive social skills. Between the history of the Boy Scouts and our child's unique challenges, we've done our best to keep the difficulties of being the TransDad to the 8-going-on-4-year-old to a minimum, but we can't avoid them all!

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TPT#122 - More Than Marriage

When George was young, he never thought he'd get married. Now that marriage equality is a (mostly) settled issue, we reflect on its impact (or lack thereof) on our lives as a hetero-gendered couple. The times, they are a-changin'.

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TPT#121 - Gendery Goodness

George's transition has resulted in numerous changes to his body. Many of these have been clearly beneficial in more closely aligning his body to match his gender identity, and in assisting others to correctly perceive him as his identified gender. Some of these changes, however, have been less than convenient. From excess sweat and intolerance for higher temperatures, to changes in the functioning of his cardiovascular and digestive systems, to a decreased ability to swim, some adaptation has been needed to meet recent challenges related to HRT.

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TPT#120 - Safety Math

Queer spaces often have their own set of unwritten rules, expectations, or social norms that are based on a collective experience of being perpetually on guard for one's own safety and peace of mind. Lately we spend less time in queer spaces than we'd like, but we've recently had some refreshing experiences with "folks like us".

Ivan Coyote discussed their experience with the bathroom dilemma at dailyxtra.com/vancouver/dear-lady-in-the-womens-washroom-4771 some years back, and someone snagged a video of them reading it at youtube.com/watch?v=eo6MeDSCBVM. Last year, as part of their Gender Failure project with the equally awesome Rae Spoon, they followed up with a piece which can be read at slate.com/blogs/outward/2014/04/11/transgender_in_public_bathrooms_why_does_our_safety_always_come_second.html.

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TPT#119 - #TransIsBeautiful

We got to see the beautiful and eloquent Laverne Cox speak, and it was amazing. She spoke on not just her experience as a transgender person, but as a woman, as a person of color, and as a human living all of these experiences at once. Intersectionality abounds as we reflect on what she said and how it touched us.

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TPT#118 - Fridays That Have Issues

The madness never ends, and while George occasionally plans to make time for self-care it doesn't always work out as planned. Between naughty children and ailing pets and elderly parents, other peoples' problems keep encroaching on his free-time fridays.

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TPT#117 - Real Life Queer Adults

Government employment has its ups and downs. We discuss our experiences working in the public sector, the fun situations we find ourselves in with colleagues, and Jess' elementary-school closet. No, not the closet she was in as an elementary student, but the one she finds herself in as an elementary teacher. But now that school is out, transfer time is in, and she's hoping for another chance at moving into middle or high school.

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TPT#116 - It's My Only Language

Jess thinks in words, George thinks in pictures. That sometimes makes it difficult to communicate when the words are needed to share the pictures and ideas in his head. As George's body continues to change, and his place in our world continues to settle into the "man camp", he considers how and when to best express the unique viewpoint that his experiences with HRT, with the changes testosterone has brought, with masculinity and femininity, and with emigrating from the "woman camp" have provided.

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TPT#115 - Microphone Magic

Parenting is hard. There's no tutorial level, and difficulty settings are subject to change at random. One minute your kid is your trusty sidekick with tons of charisma points, and the next they're on a boss-fight level tantrum. One of ours is particularly difficult, by no fault of his own, and so we have started to hunt down a strategy guide or walkthrough.

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TPT#114 - Three-Year-Old Logic

Jess and George are fairly rational people. We prefer to use our brains whenever possible, but we are sharing our lives with other people who have clear limits to their sense of reason. Whether it's George's mom, entitled-genius Child#3, developmentally-delayed Child#2, or autistic-teenager Child#1, we often have to be the logical ones on behalf of those in our care.

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TPT#113 - A Handful O' Trans People

At George's second anniversary of HRT, we review how the past two years have gone, his medical transition process, and how he feels about the experience. In some ways these events echo what we hear from others, but every experience is unique.

An "extra" episode will also be released today, with details of how George's measurements and body shape have changed in two years, for those who want those details.

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TPT#113x - Extra - Measurements and Changes at Two Years HRT

George's body has changed a lot over two years on testosterone. In this "extra" episode, we detailed some specific measurements and how T has affected them. We pulled this content from the main "second man-iversary" episode because it only interests a segment of our listeners, so we didn't want to bore the majority of you, but we wanted to have this information available for those who find it interesting or pertinent to their own experience.

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TPT#112 - The Jesus People, Pt. 2 (Career Christians and the “big fat gay wedding”)

Continuing last week's discussion of Christianity and the LGBTQIA+ community, we talk about how our friends' lives changed as they moved in and out of religious employment, government employment, and the private sector. They could see the effect of their religious views and their love for the queer community in the way they fit (or didn't) into each step of their respective and collective journeys.

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TPT#111 - The Jesus People Pt. 1 (Finding faith, “ex-gay”, the culture wars, and being hated)

George's friend and his wife, the ones who lead the bible study we've mentioned, join us for another guest episode! We discuss their initial experiences at the intersection of religion and respect for the LGBTQIA+ community, and how they moved from a place of supporting "ex-gay" ministries to being genuinely supportive and loving toward the queer community.

To be continued next week!

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TPT#110 - Gender F*ckery

Transition literally means a change from one thing to another. Prior to transition, we were perceived as our assigned gender, and until we begin transitioning we have to cope with a less-than-ideal circumstance and state of being. How we cope is unique to each individual, and how long we choose to adapt to our assigned gender is also variable. George's experience of adapting and his methods of adaptation to his assigned gender were effective for him... until they weren't.

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TPT#109 - He Even Tattles On Himself

When Child#2's special needs require a school meeting, it's naturally a little stressful. When we find out that Child Protection has gotten involved with him, it's a lot stressful. When we're a queer family facing these things, with relatively little experience so far with bigotry or discrimination, things might not be what they seem.

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TPT#108 - They're All Very Friendly People

During transition, the way others see us changes. This often changes the way they interact with us, although not in ways we would have expected. Sometimes the changes aren't even things others realize they're doing, but we who have seen the interactions from both presentations can spot the differences.

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TPT#107 - A Bit More Running Than I Thought

"Seriously, there's an outrageous amount of running involved." George has had a really sh*tty day. Literally. Thankfully, between having the right hormones and the benefit of being culturally expected to behave as he is naturally inclined to do, he is able to manage things fairly well.

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TPT#106 - Junk and Stuff

Genitals are a touchy subject in most of western culture, and no less so for most of the transgender community. We follow up previous discussions of George's "junk", and jump into Jess' "junk" also. Figuratively, of course. Frank discussion of lower dysphoria, sex, and genderqueer identity follow as we let the conversation follow our thoughts.

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TPT#105 - A Third Set of Q's and A's

We love hearing from you, our listener friends. We do our best to respond to questions and feedback as quickly as possible, and while that may take us a few days sometimes, we are always glad to see what you think and to satisfy your curiosity. After we respond personally, we sometimes realize that your question is one that may be shared by other listeners, or we feel that it starts a worthwhile discussion, and so we compile them into an episode.

From dysphoria to patreon to DHT to hair care, here's what you wanted to hear about.

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TPT#104 - Hell-arious!

Child#2 is by far our most special and most needy of our special needs children. So when the school decides that he may not qualify for all of his special education services, we might have a problem on our hands. We try to find the bright side, or at least the bright spots, when we can, and it makes the problem closer to manageable. For now.

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TPT#103 - With A Puppy Dog and Jesus on the Cross

We are both people of faith, but only Jess is a person of religion. We've discussed before how our respective faith backgrounds overlap and how we adapt to a mixed-faith marriage, but now Jess has invited the whole queer Jesus gang to our house. George would probably have an issue with this, if it weren't his best friend and said friend's wife in charge of the group.

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TPT#102 - AutoPilot Failure

When a person transitions, they often find themselves becoming more aware of their status in the world, more aware of themselves, and more aware of others' awareness of them. From the gym to the job to the front porch, this week George discusses how his self-awareness has been affected by his transition experience.

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TPT#101 - Pictures Of Cats On The Internet

Pronouns are important, especially within the transgender community. Misgendering can be a horrible insult to someone who's had to struggle for the right to use the word that fits. So when Jess is so linguistically-confused and gender-challenged that he can't even get her own pronouns right, let alone everyone else's, they might just have to forgo the use of gendered pronouns for a while.

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TPT#100 - Dick Patrol

Holy podcasts, TransMan! One hundred episodes? Wow!

Lower growth on testosterone is a highly individualized experience, and figuring out how to deal with one's body during any transition can consume a lot of one's time and one's mental/emotional energy. So when Child#2 is so terribly gendered and occasionally gets a little too focused on genitals, George doesn't always have the opportunity to get himself sorted. That said, once the kids are away, his dick seems to be functioning quite well, thank you.

Parental warning for mildly explicit discussion of genital anatomy and sexual functioning.

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TPT#99 - Not Unless You're A Wizard

During transition, making the change from one gender's sociocultural expectations to another can be a challenge, especially when someone has trained themself to ignore those differences. For George, and many other FtMs, things like how to groom one's newly sprouted facial hair and how to behave in the bathroom can be learning experiences., and a variety of problem-solving skills can be helpful in navigating the new experiences and expectations. For us, this month's learning experience has been at the gym, as George figures out how to bench press.

Episodes #31 (with links) and #66 are some of our prior discussions of STPing as we referenced at about 21:00.

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TPT#98 - A Merry-Go-Round With Too Many Guns

When two kids go away for holiday break, the "leftover" child is even more special-needy than usual. Between dialing 911 from the kids club, dive-bombing George's new model train with GI-Joes, running wild with classmates at the museum, and just generally being a developmentally delayed seven-going-on-three-year-old, we had our hands full.

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TPT#97 - A Four-Cry Christmas

Christmas on the custody calendar means we had our celebrations a little late, but this year was all the more fun with extra family living in town now. Between kids, family we're stuck with, and family we chose, holiday fun was inescapable!

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TPT#96 - My Cousin Vinnie, Pt. 2 (Family Life in Attention Whore-ange)

In the second part of our conversation with George's cousin, we discuss marriage and family life as queers in the suburbs, and how different it is from the earlier history mentioned last week.

Jess did a little googling and found the Craigslist ad we mentioned at http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/50077506.html.

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TPT#95 - My Cousin Vinnie, Pt. 1 (Porn, Religion, and being Genderqueer)

George's cousin came to visit, and we talked them into sitting down with us by a microphone for our first guest episode. As an AFAB, genderqueer, jewish, former pornographer, they fit right in with our crazy family!

Hey, look!! There's a new survey!!! If you liked this episode, or if you didn't; if you want more guests, or if you don't; if you like discussion of faith, sex, childhood, transition, parenting, or whatever crosses our minds, let us know at http://vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!